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elegy for thoracic cage

"I got the news late at night [in Cuba] and the next day I was on the way back to my room and I came across this moth, a really beautiful moth. I got my camera to take some pictures. At one point I put my finger out and the moth crawled right on it. I took him up to the room and took some more pictures then put him in a plant, and he stayed outside our room for a long time. It was two or three days he was sitting there, then one morning I nudged him to see if he was dead, but he wasn't. Later that afternoon he had flown away. It made me feel like Chris was with me. I'm sending you a couple pictures of the moth. I call him Reimer."
-- Clinton St. John

grief advice

To express loss on that level is to cross a boundary, to violate personal space, to impose emotion in a nonemotional place - Cheryl Strayed's essay "The Love of My Life" captures for me the devastation of my experience of loss in a way that few essays have:

"We love and care for oodles of people, but only a few of them, if they died, would make us believe we could not continue to live. Imagine if there were a boat upon which you could put only four people, and everyone else known and beloved to you would then cease to exist. Who would you put on that boat? It would be painful, but how quickly you would decide: You and you and you and you, get in. The rest of you, goodbye."

elegy for my father's son

After Wolf Parade.

elegy for apathy

After Cat Power.

Dear Chris,

The Liars. The Dodos. The Cars.

On grief and mourning

Further art and writing by me

Create and Collaborate. The Artist’s Grief Deck.
Object Lessons.” Maisonneuve Issue 79 Spring 2021.
“Evil in my pocket.” Wolsak and Wynn: Locations of Grief: an emotional geography. May 2020. 129-139. Print. Essay.
THE MESSENGER.” Blood Orange: an experimental poetry tarot. 28 March, 2020. Web. Poetry.
“Gently fondling the nylon-tipped sticks of death.” Anvil Press: Against Death. September 2020. 256-270. Print. Essay.
Ziniuk, Tara-Michelle. “The Ecology of Grief.” Herizons Winter 2020 20-23. Print. Interview.
“Deathday Birthday.” HarperCollins: Modern Loss: Candid conversations about grief. Beginners welcome. January 23, 2018. 319-323. Print. Non-fiction.
The First Dime.” With Mike Reimer. The Town Crier (Puritan Magazine Blog). Oct. 3, 2017. Web. Essay
Home, Not Home.” Web: Modern Loss. July 28, 2014. Web. Non-fiction.
“Affect is, like, so over.” Vancouver / Unceded Coast Salish Territory: About A Bicycle Issue 3. Autumn 2013. Print. Essay.
Improvising a Bone Graft.” The Rumpus. May 9, 2013. Web. Essay.
“November 2012.” Poetry Is Dead Issue 3, Volume 3 Internet Supplement: A Few Long Poems. Poems by Aisha Sasha John, Jason Christie, Jonathan Ball and Nikki Reimer. December 2012. Digital. Poetry.

Resources and community

Modern Loss:  candid conversations about grief
The Dinner Party: 20 to 40-somethings who have experienced significant loss
In Alberta, the AHS Grief Support Program was immensely helpful to me. Many provinces in Canada may have something similiar. I recommend googling "grief support" + your area.
Megan Devine / @RefugeInGrief